I am the Mayor of Hickory, North Carolina; a former CPA, sex worker, hype man, part-time cage fighter and hand model.
"In Hustler Magazine, Inc. v. Falwell, 485 U.S. 46 (1988), the United States Supreme Court held, in a unanimous 8–0 decision (Justice Anthony Kennedy took no part in the consideration or decision of the case), that the First Amendment's free-speech guarantee prohibits awarding damages to public figures to compensate for emotional distress intentionally inflicted upon them."
"At the heart of the First Amendment is the recognition of the fundamental importance of the free flow of ideas and opinions on matters of public interest and concern. The freedom to speak one's mind is not only an aspect of individual liberty – and thus a good unto itself – but also is essential to the common quest for truth and the vitality of society as a whole. We have therefore been particularly vigilant to ensure that individual expressions of ideas remain free from governmentally imposed sanctions."
Hustler fucking rules! In other words, this is a parody of Mayor Rudy Wright and all public figures mentioned therein. If this isn't immediately obvious please read the minutes of my Chattanooga meeting with Mayor McCheese. Do you feel better now? Me too.
It also bears mentioning that I quote and attribute various sources of local news I come across. The Hickory Daily Record, The Hickory Hound, WHKY, WCNC, WBTV, and Wikipedia are among my victims. The merits of these sources speak for themselves; I am in no way associated with them nor they with me.